


The Shinobi User Manuals- COLE:NINJAOFEARTH

by AstraLowelle



Series: The Shinobi User Manuals [2]
Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Gen, Humor, Shinobi, User guide, user manual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstraLowelle/pseuds/AstraLowelle
Summary: Shinobi, that master elemental unit corps, has just come out with a brand new unit! The following is the user manual for the all-new COLE:NINJAOFEARTH.
Series: The Shinobi User Manuals [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833883
Kudos: 6





	The Shinobi User Manuals- COLE:NINJAOFEARTH

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lidya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidya/gifts).



**Congratulations!** You are now the proud owner of your very own COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ unit. Thank you for purchasing a Shinobi® product. We guarantee satisfaction or your money back!

**CONTENTS AND ASSEMBLY  
**Your COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ comes fully assembled and includes: **  
** 3 pairs of black ninja outfits in varying styles **  
** 2 pairs of black pajamas **  
** Scythe of Quakes (golden) **  
** A lot of cake

**UNPACKING AND PROGRAMMING  
**Your COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ comes pre-programmed and ready for immediate use. However, the unit may be asleep upon arrival. There are a few ways to draw your COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ out of its cardboard box or, if necessary, wake it up. Here are some tried-and-true methods:  
1\. Loudly grunt and groan and thump heavy objects around the room, while complaining at full volume, "I can _not_ carry these things! They're _way_ too heavy!" You should not have to repeat this phrase too many times. Within minutes, your COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ will tear the box open and hop out, gallantly offering assistance. TIP: Choose heavy things you actually need moved.  
2\. Put a plate of chocolate cake a few paces away from the box. Your COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ will be out of the box faster than you can say 'Shinobi'.

**USES AND CHARACTERISTICS  
**The COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ has a cornucopia of functions and traits, among which number the ability to create earthquakes, a determination to make everything right, a steadfast loyalty to those who earn it, and a decent set of dance moves. The unit is a terrible cook, and enjoys playing video games.

**MODES  
**While your COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ functions in a variety of modes, not all of them will be unlocked when you first purchase the unit. As you interact with your unit, you will unlock new modes. The COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ has three main settings:  
_HUNGRY  
STRONG  
FOCUSED_

**FAQ  
**Q: I tried the heavy-object technique to draw my unit out, but there was waaaaaay too much tape on the cardboard box and my COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ couldn't get out until I nearly got a hernia from carrying the heavy stuff, and now I can't move. What kind of muscle cream should I use?  
A: While Shinobi® does not deal with near-hernias or muscle creams, we are very sorry for your ordeal and suggest a long soak in a hot bath.  
Q: So I got my COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™, and I really like it, but yesterday my dog got a hold of my unit and now my COLE:NINJAOFEARTH can't say anything except "Iron sharpens iron, brother sharpens brother' in an increasingly squeaky voice. It's really annoying. How do I reset and/or fix my unit?  
A: Power down your COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ completely, then turn it on again. You may need to do this a few times. If this doesn't work after a few tries, give the unit a good solid whack. You'd be surprised how often that works.  
Q: My COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ came with maroon everything instead of black everything. Plus the hair is too long and not exactly cut like the picture I saw in the catalog. In fact, it hardly resembles the catalog picture at all, except for the black hair. What's going on? Is my unit having an identity crisis or something, or is there a glitch in the programming?  
A: Whoops! Looks like we accidentally sent you a NYA:NINJAOFWATER™ unit by mistake. Just mail it back, and Shinobi® will send you a new one.  
Q: Can my COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™ interact with other Shinobi® units?  
A: Yes, all Shinobi® units can interact with each other, with no added programming.

**ENJOY YOUR COLE:NINJAOFEARTH™!  
**-

QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS? CONTACT SHINOBI® TODAY.


End file.
